♥xoxo.

im suppose to be studying! but instead im mugging infrt of the laptop, chatting, on fb and blogging. will this get me an A for my exams?? hell no! but i still dont know why im still sitting down inside my room stuck infrnt of the lappy. hais.. tomorrow will be my business communications paper. its quite easy. but still, its very difficult to score. my language sucks! but no matter what i still have to have faith in myself and do well on this paper. if i get a C for this, i will be very dissapointed. it is english for god sakes. i had been learning english since my kindergarden years. so, no reason for me to get a C.

i have been thinking. what am i gg to do after ITE? where am i gg? what am i gg to be? will i succeed? will i have a bright future? or will i suffer? these question keep playing inside my head and i cnt stop thinking abt it. it really scares me thinking abt the future. i am not ready yet. cz i keep thinking that i am a failure. idk why but that is what i felt. i am only good in doing bad things. i have nothing special in me. im such a dissapointment to myself. well indeed, i would to like to marry the one guy that i love, have kids with him and have happily ever after. but reality check, how am i gg to have all that if im like this. im also scared for the guy that im with now. is he the one for me? if he is, will he able to bring enough money for me and the family? im scared and worried for everything. yes, its true that we have to live life to its fullest but sometimes u have to stop for awhile and take a look around. so, am i ready to face the reality? no im not.

i wish to go somewhere faraway and be alone. i wish i could ran away from home without anybody knowing. and i do wish i could go for a holiday alone and experience what life means by myself.

ok now. for the happy part.
i cant wait for sleepover at intan's house, to go jb with sheila, fatin's pit on the 20th, sentosa outing with gfs, karaoke at shima's house and loads more. but im guessing there will be 2-3 days that im gg to be slacking at home. plans with boyfriend? hmm.. not sure yet. but whatever it is im gonna spend my holidays with my gfs.

update again when i can aites?
take care sayangs.

xoxo;